this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
