wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
