We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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