New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize