why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize