my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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