So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
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You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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