We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Even my vagina gasped.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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