I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
