I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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