And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
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If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
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I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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