i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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