spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
