So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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