smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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