Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The feeling are messing with the penis
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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