therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
