3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
