Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
