nut hugger
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we're making bets on your personal life
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
