He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
