billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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