Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
