definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
