So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
