Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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