I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
