Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
