I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
