I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
