She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
