It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
