There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
