so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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