I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
