is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
