All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
