oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
