WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
