Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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