Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
