hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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