Whod you bang
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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