I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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