How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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