Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
