I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
