i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
