If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
where are you?
Hypothermia
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
