I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Pants are for mortals
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
