hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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