Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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