No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
