Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
