My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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