why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
