How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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