New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
