Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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