Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
