Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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