Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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